


The Bright Outside

by heavysetting



Series: Breakups [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, Exes, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Unfinished Business, University, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-07-10 20:36:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15957056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavysetting/pseuds/heavysetting
Summary: Three years later, one messy breakup, two casual flings and a national championship, and Kageyama still has no idea how he’s going to face Oikawa-san.OR alternatively, Kageyama attends the same university as his exboyfriend. Angst ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been feeling introspective. A couple of personal life things have happened recently and me reminiscing about the last few years has led to this fic. Growing up is fun, but it’s with the benefit of hindsight that you realise the mistakes you’ve made and how you learn to accept them.
> 
> Fair warning, this fic will be gratuitous and cliched and I will make no apologies for it.

“ _I’m breaking up with you.” He says, flicking his hair so that it falls to the side, twirling a disinterested finger around his straw. The coffee shop is quiet, save for the murmured giggles of some high school girls, and Kageyama distinctly hears his heart break in two._

_“D-did I do something wrong?” He whispers, clenching his hands deep into his pockets. He can feel the tears pricking at the edge of his eyelids, and he brushes them away furiously with the back of his sleeve. Oikawa just looks to the side, steadfastly ignoring him, taking a sip of his strawberry milkshake. The straw slurps against the bottom of his glass, and Kageyama flinches at the noise._

_“Don’t make a scene.” He sighs. “I’m going to college next year and I need to focus on making the national team. I don’t have time for a relationship and it’s just not something I want at the moment.”_

_“I’m not making a scene.” Kageyama whispers, frowning at him. “I’m allowed to be upset when my boyfriend is breaking up with me. You don’t get to tell me what I’m allowed to feel.”_

_Oikawa flinches, and tries to cover it by reaching for Kageyama’s hand, and Kageyama just snatches it away._

_“You’re still young, you’ll find someone.” He implores, and Kageyama just about has had enough of his bullshit._

_“You Oikawa-senpai, are a coward.” He snarls, slamming his hands down on the table. He snatches his coat of the back of his chair and unsuccessfully tries to hide the utter look of devastation on his face. Oikawa refuses to meet his gaze, but he looks bored with the conversation, so disengaged that Kageyama can’t stand it anymore._

_He runs away from the cafe without looking back, shakily texting Hinata through blurred vision, breath coming in short gasps. He makes it somehow to the school gym, sliding open the gym doors to see Hinata waiting nervously for him, an open bag of volleyballs rolling across the floor. He feels himself smile shakily, feeling a swell of warmth and genuine affection for his best friend and then bursts into tears._

_…_

Kageyama tries to swallow down the pit of nerves in his stomach as he reads the sign hanging across the campus. There are students milling about for the first week of university, and not for the first time, he wishes he had gone to Chuo instead along with Hinata. Tokai University just seems so much larger, more intimidating, and he hates the fact that he’s sweating and nervous, like a first year again back at Karasuno. _Everyone_ had gone to Chuo, and he knows that if it weren’t for his full sports scholarship at Tokai, he would be with Hinata, with Kenma, with Suga-san and all of his friends.

Tokai is one of the best volleyball schools in the region, and they also offer one of the best sports programmes in Tokyo. Their volleyball team has won Nationals three years running, and by all means it _is_ the best school that offers the best chance of making it onto the national team. He’s repeated these reasons again and again to himself, but underneath it all, he knows he applied just to see if he could get into the same place as Oikawa. He’s matured a lot, grown up, but a part of him will always be tied into that coffee shop, watching his senpai twirl that straw around, forever trying to emulate that jump serve. But then things had spiralled out of control when Tokai had offered him the scholarship, as well as a full maintenance grant for living expenses. His family don’t have all the money in the world, and his mother had cried tears of joy when he told them, so proud of her darling boy, his father beaming proudly beside him.

Kageyama shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts and walks through the club fair. He has nothing on his mind apart from volleyball, but he knows as his stomach sinks that the closer he gets to volleyball, the closer he gets to Oikawa. They haven’t spoken at all since their breakup, but he knows through Iwaizumi that he’s dating someone else now, and although he’s had time to process, there is a part of him that isn’t quite ready to face him yet, despite how much he’s grown. The club fair is rowdy, club reps handing out free badges and leaflets, pushing to recruit as many members as possible. The basketball team makes a beeline for him, eyes wide, glistening and looking at his height up and down, when suddenly an arm wraps himself around his shoulders, pulling him close against a broad chest.

“Fancy seeing you here, Tobio-kun.” A low voice rumbles, pleased, and Kageyama looks up to see Miya Atsumu, holding a volleyball underneath his arm. There’s a crowd of girls following him around, and Kageyama has to bite back a smile as he remembers Inarizaki’s cheer squad.

“Miya-san.” He greets, bowing slightly. “I just joined, where can I sign up to the volleyball team?”

He gets handed a form and a free badge, a dark blue that matches the team uniform and Miya peers at him as he neatly fills in his details, signing on the dotted line. He gets dragged over to the volleyball stall, and Miya introduces him to two intimidating third years that Kageyama doesn’t recognise from his secondary school competition days.

“This is Haruto and Touma, this is Tobio-kun.” He introduces, and Kageyama bows deeply, feeling like he is being assessed. Haruto seems friendly, but Touma pushes his glasses up that looks so distressingly like Tsukishima for a second that Kageyama feels himself bristle, aware that he is being judged.

“Oh so this is Karasuno’s famous setter.” Haruto greets, shaking his hand enthusiastically. “Welcome to our club, tryouts will be on Friday in gym A. Looking forward to seeing you in action.”

“Not another setter.” Touma complains loudly, rolling his eyes. Kageyama tries not to let it affect him and Miya just places a hand on his shoulder before stepping obnoxiously into Touma’s face.

“Tobio-kun isn’t _just_ a setter dipshit, just wait until he gets onto the court and destroys your shitty excuse of a B-team.”

“Oh, so he’ll be taking your place then?” Touma doesn’t skip a beat, and Kageyama feels like he’s stepped into the middle of a grade A pissing match. Haruto looks pained, and it’s clear that this isn’t the first time he’s been stuck between them. They glare at each other, when suddenly an amused voice calls over to them.

“What are you fighting about now Touma, we’re supposed to be trying to attract new members, not scare them off.”

Kageyama tenses, and feels sick all of a sudden. He knows that voice intimately, that familiar drawl burned into his memory and it really is amazing how he still has this much power over him, after all this time.

Oikawa pushes through the crowd, but when he catches a glimpse of Kageyama he stops, looking stricken all of a sudden. There’s an awkward silence, and Haruto looks around in confusion.

“Erm, Oikawa-taichou meet our newest recruit, Kageyama. Do you know each other?”

There’s another supremely awkward silence before Oikawa laughs loudly and obnoxiously. Kageyama wants to shrink in on himself, he knows that laugh, and despite all the different encounters he had imagined them meeting in again, the probability of any nice scenarios had now firmly become zero.

“Tobio-chan here is my adorable kohai, we went to Kitagawa together.” He snarks, holding his arms wide. “He just _loves_ me so much that he also had to follow me all the way to Tokai as well.”

That hurts, and is a punch to his stomach. He feels furious with himself, this should not have such an impact on him, but he feels like he’s fifteen again, insecure and miserable and absolutely heartbroken. All the progress, all the growing up he’s had to do and Oikawa is just able to _get_ to him like this, even after all these years.

“I see Tokai still hasn’t done anything to help that shitty personality of yours, _senpai_.” He says, trying gamely to keep the waver out of his voice. It seems to have an effect as the fake grin falls off his face and Touma snorts suddenly, and then the rest of the group start laughing, Miya slapping him on his back.

“Please stay forever.” He pleads, and Kageyama ducks his head, extricating himself from under Miya’s arm, heart beating hard as he avoids Oikawa’s flinty gaze.

“Please excuse me, I need to move into my dorm soon. I-I’ll see you Friday.”

And then he runs away.

…

His dorm room is light and airy, a small single bed tucked into the corner with a single desk under the window. He doesn’t get much on his scholarship, but at least he doesn’t have to share his room and he has his own bathroom. His heart is pounding, and he knows he should try and go out there and try and make some new friends, but he lies on his bed and he ignores his unpacked boxes, pulling out his phone to text Hinata.

_hey, how was your first day today?_

He doesn’t expect an immediate reply, but Hinata is almost always on his phone, and quickly he watches the three dots appear, signalling him typing something back.

_It was great!! They have such a nice gym - I can’t wait to start playing volleyball there! :) how was yours?_

_Okay, team seem nice._

_...come on kageyama, details please. Who are they? Do you know whether you’ll be on the A team? What does your schedule look like?_

Kageyama pauses, wondering what to type. There’s a knot in his chest that refuses to ease, and he needs to talk to someone, to distract himself from the quagmire of hurt and betrayal that threatens to engulf him.

_I saw Oikawa today. He’s our team captain._

He watches Hinata type, delete it, and then type something again.

_!!!!!!!!!! What?!!! Oh no how do you feel?!_

_I think I’m okay. He hasn’t changed much._

_ >:( well let me know if hes mean to you. Chuo isn’t too far away you know. _

_Thanks Hinata, let’s arrange something for the weekend?_

_Sure. :) im here for you, let me know if you want to talk, kay?_

_Sure. Thanks._

Kageyama throws his phone under his pillow, closing his eyes with a sigh. He lies there for a while, not knowing how long has passed and is about to nod off to sleep when he is jerked awake by a sharp knocking against his door. Yawning, he blinks blearily as he stumbles to the door, scratching his stomach. He opens the door to reveal Miya and Kuroo, both holding a bottle of sake in each hand and identical shit eating expressions.

“How do you know where I live.” He sighs, but steps aside anyway to let them in. He distantly remembers Kenma telling him Kuroo was at Tokai as well, but he must have forgotten in the meantime.

“You have to fill in your address when you apply to be on the team.” Miya supplies, and Kuroo makes himself straight at home, rummaging around in his cupboards. He hasn’t changed much, still tall and lean as before, only with an additional earring hanging from one ear, and hair spiked as if ready to go out clubbing, and slowly Kageyama freezes, face turning ashen.

“Yes Kageyama, we’re taking you out.” Kuroo grins toothily, holding a couple of dusty shot glasses the previous tenants left from last year. “When Miya mentioned he saw you today I knew we had to show you the ropes on your first day.”

“I really have nothing to wear.” He lies, and then fidgets as Miya gives him a once over, leering at him with exaggerated effect.

“I can see that.” He says, and Kageyama blushes a deep red when he finally realises he’s only wearing pajama trousers, slung loosely on his hips.

“Stop embarrassing him.” Kuroo tuts, pouring everyone a cup of sake. “Go put on your best dancing shoes and come face your initiation like a man.

“I haven’t even gone to tryouts yet!”

It falls on deaf ears.

…

He later settles on a pair of dark blue jeans and a simple tight black tshirt, and tries to ignore it as Miya wolf whistles at him, a teasing smile pulling at his lip. Miya has always enjoyed making him uncomfortable, and he certainly hasn’t changed much since middle school.

“My my Tobio-kun has grown up well hasn’t he?”

“Please leave me alone.” He mumbles, dipping his head to hide his blush.

By the time he makes it to the club, he is so drunk he can’t stand. They’re in a small indie bar near Shinagawa, a local haunt for the school, and Kuroo has to support him on the subway, Miya laughing quietly by his side. He knows he doesn’t want to go out, it’s not really his thing, but the warm flush of alcohol makes him braver, and for once he’s not thinking about Oikawa or worrying about tryouts in a few days time. By some miracle the bouncer overlooks him in the queue, and they stumble down the sticky steps where he can feel the pounding bass of the music, a rapid beat that makes his heart beat faster and his senpais treat him to a round of shots at the bar.

Somehow, he eventually loses them on the way back from the toilet and a firm arm grasps him by the waist, spinning him around so he is pulled into a warm embrace. Blearily, he looks up and the man is handsome, he looks like some businessman out after his night shift and he has chocolate brown hair, kind eyes and a nice smile which for a once, doesn’t seem to want to hurt him.

“I hope you don’t mind me being so forward.” The man says, shrugging apologetically.

Surprisingly, Kageyama doesn’t mind, and he finds himself smiling. He’s slept around a little after Oikawa, and although he doesn’t make it a habit to mess around with strangers, it has been a while since anyone took his fancy. The alcohol helps, the darkness helps, and fifteen minutes later he finds himself making out messily with the man in the bathroom stalls, pressed against the wall. It’s messy, exhilarating, and he tilts his head and gasps as the man sucks a hickey into his neck, hands roaming under his shirt.

Minutes later, they stumble out of the stall together, laughing and breathing hard. However, when the door opens, Kageyama bumps into someone. Startled, he looks up and realises that it’s Oikawa, and almost instantly freezes, sobering up completely. Oikawa’s eyes are wide, shocked, drinking in his tousled hair, the red blush and swollen lips. His shirt is a mess and his jeans are lower than usual, and the handsome stranger still has his arm around his waist, tugging him gently to the exit.

“T-tobio-chan,” Oikawa starts to say, but doesn’t manage to finish his sentence. Kageyama gets pulled back onto the dancefloor, and for some reason, he feels like it swallows him whole.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. Hinata totally told Kenma who told Kuroo who told Miya to cheer Kageyama up. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest this fic is going to be way more volleyball focused than I thought it would be. Kageyama being good a volleyball is a secret kink of mine :)

The sunlight streams in slowly through his dorm window, and Kageyama has to bite back a curse as he slowly regains consciousness, a heavy ache settled firmly at the back of his head. Groaning, he reaches for water and nearly fumbles the bottle as he takes a few sips, forehead pinched with pain. Dizzily, he remembers making it back in a taxi, and then he cringes with embarrassment as he starts to remember the prior night. He grabs his phone from under his pillow and winces as he sees multiple missed calls and a frantic  _ WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU IDIOT!  _ from Miya. 

He doesn’t tend to drink much, but when he does he tends to disappear and make questionable life decisions. He isn’t all that great in social situations still, but it had been a running joke on Karasuno that alcohol turned him into a monster. He does remember dancing with a handsome stranger, going to the bathroom, enjoying himself thoroughly in said bathroom and then being caught by Oikawa on the way out. His life is a fucking  _ soap opera _ and he hides his head under the pillow, and groans out loud again, wincing when the noise exacerbates the pounding in his head. Thankfully he’d had the presence of mind to go home after that, despite handsome stranger’s obvious disappointment. Besides, seeing Oikawa had sobered him up too much to stay any longer.

He’s managed to avoid Oikawa back home quite easily, with the both of them playing in different leagues and in different championships. They live in different neighbourhoods, and even when summer breaks happen, he knows through word of mouth and social media profiles that Oikawa is often travelling with Tokai volleyball team, either at training camps or working with coaches in America. He hasn’t had to face him since their breakup, and despite having mutual friends it hasn’t really been a problem. Until now. Realistically, going to the same university means that they’ll run into each other more, and it’s something he had prepared himself for, before deciding to come to Tokai. He can’t react so viscerally every time he sees him. It’s pathetic.

The frustrating thing is that until now, Kageyama had honestly thought he was over him, thought he had gotten over that cafe and the way that Oikawa had discarded him. He’s moved on since, made invaluable friends, improved himself and changed for the better, but actually seeing him in the flesh again, running into him in that club brought back so many memories that he had thought he had dealt with.

It’s so incredibly frustrating, and Kageyama knows that he’s obsessing, playing over the past in his head. The sad fact was that whilst they had spent some time together, Oikawa had been a  _ good _ boyfriend, despite his totally insincere nature and his complete inability to have a proper conversation. Okay, so maybe he hadn't been a model boyfriend, but they had had fun together, supported each other when it mattered. Their entire dynamic was based on being rivals, but since winning nationals, he has too many rivals to count or even know how to deal with.

But it’s in the past, he sighs, reluctantly getting up to shower. He needs to attend his course induction soon, and laying around thinking about Oikawa won’t get him there. Won’t get him anywhere, in fact.

...

The earth sciences department is crowded when he arrives, a mix of professors and students making their way into the lecture theatre. He’s majoring in Geology, and unbidden Tsukishima’s mocking voice floats through his head -  _ of COURSE someone as dense as Kageyama is going to study rocks -  _ and he growls, shaking his head to dispel it. To be honest, he’d basically applied to the course with the least amount of contact hours, figuring it would let him play more volleyball. He also has a passing interest in material sciences, and knowing what things are made of beneath their shiny exteriors is something he wants to learn about. So he’d applied to Tokai on that basis, not actually expecting to get in.

He’s missed the first part of the induction already (he’d spent most of his morning hunched in his shower, clutching his head miserably) and he doesn’t recognise anyone in the room. The meet and greet isn’t important anyway, and he scrambles to find himself a seat at the back of the lecture hall. A pretty girl smiles at him as he mutters a quiet excuse me, and shifts to the side as he slides past.

The introduction isn’t anything interesting, they introduce the department of professors one by one, bowing as they take centre stage. They explain their varying classes, introducing the electives they can take, and the structure of the course and how they can earn extra credit. Kageyama makes a mental note to take the easiest classes he can possibly take, and then loses interest as a few of the third year students then step up to the stage, giving their perspective on their favourite courses and their advice on university so far.

His phone buzzes, and he quickly checks it. Miya is spamming his phone as he still hasn’t answered his texts from this morning, and he quickly taps out a reply apologising. He’s in the middle of texting, when a familiar voice starts to introduce himself.

“Hi everyone! I’m Oikawa Tooru and I’m a third year about to start my masters next year in environmental sciences. Pleased to meet you all, but if you have any questions, it’s better to ask someone else as I’ll be too busy playing volleyball~” 

Kageyama smacks his head back against the wall with a dull thud, not caring as people turn around to look at him weirdly. The professors look like they want to kill Oikawa, but the room titters quietly, a few girls swooning as he strikes a pose on the stage. Clearly he’s a mini celebrity on campus, and Kageyama has to roll his eyes, lips quirking up. His life is an absolute joke, but he’s glad that Oikawa doesn’t seem to have changed much, still obnoxious as ever despite the charming grin.

So they’re in the same university, same department, same volleyball team. It could be worse, Kageyama muses, at least they’re not in the same year, or sharing classes. They can maintain a careful distance normally in university time, and he loves volleyball too much to let this affect him there. Surely it wouldn’t be too bad, and who knows, maybe they can be friends again?

_ Learning about what things are really made of, beneath their shiny exteriors.  _

Who is he kidding. He’s fucked.

...

He turns up to tryouts an hour early, warming up by running laps around the campus. His stomach is thrumming with nerves, but he relishes it in his own way. He misses Karasuno, and despite Hinata being a dumbass and Tsukishima’s nasty comments, they had really gelled as a team in their three years of playing together. Kageyama doesn’t know what he’ll do if the Tokai team don’t like him, and he knows that it makes all the difference.

As he make his way around the last corner, he bumps into someone and hastily he apologises when suddenly he realises who it is.

“Oh hey, figured I’d see you here.” 

Kindaichi hasn’t changed, but he’s definitely taller. He’s wearing a tracksuit with a gym bag slung over his shoulder and despite the supreme awkwardness between them, he’s glad for another familiar face.

“Kindaichi. Hey.” He manages to stutter out, feeling at a loss. They haven’t spoken much since middle school, and despite it all, he still craves his acknowledgement, the awareness that he isn’t the king anymore from his former team mate. The acknowledgement he’d refused to give, after their match between Karasuno and Aoba Johsai.

“Geez, still as awkward as ever huh?” He smiles, eyes warm, and with a sudden jolt Kageyama realises he’s not the only one who has changed.

“I’m working on it.” He acknowledges, with a wry twist to his lips.

“Well keep working,” Kindaichi ribs back, good naturedly, but then his expression turns serious for a second, and scratches the back of his head awkwardly. “Look, I know we haven’t spoken in a while but I just wanted to let you know I’m looking forward to playing with you again, on the same team.”

There’s a silence, and Kageyama feels something slow and warm seep through him, threatening to break out. He coughs, and then tries firmly to control himself.

“Ah, yes. Only if you make it through tryouts though.”

Kindaichi stares at him for a long second.

“Oh my god Kageyama why do you have to spoil everything like that.”

His words are sharp, but he’s smiling still and Kageyama just snorts back a laugh. Yeah, things might just be okay.

And surprisingly they are. 

The coach is a kindly man named Coach Hasumi, whom shakes his hand with a glint to his eyes as he introduces himself. The other teammates stop to stare as he bounces the ball behind his fingertips, relishing the feel of the ball again. They are lined up at first, asked to show the basics of a bump, toss and spike, and then they go to receives, the balls flying with deadly accuracy. Serves are next, and then they are put into makeshift teams for practice matches, based on their skill level. He’s on the same court as Kindaichi, Kuroo and Miya are on the opposing side, slanted smiles clearly visible behind the net.

Oikawa isn’t on his court, but their game has taken a pause, and Kageyama feels the hair on his neck prick up with his senpai’s assessing gaze. Oikawa is breathing hard, a towel slung around his neck, and taking gulps of water, but his eyes are canted towards him, watching his first serve with an unrelenting intensity.

He’s not intimidated. He lives and breathes volleyball, and he lives to rise to the challenge. 

He throws the ball high into the air, and takes a running jump, slamming the ball down in a sweeping arc. It’s deadly fast, completely accurate as it hurtles to the other side. It connects well, he feels it, and the libero on the other side scrambles to receive, making it by the skin of his teeth. It bounces high back to the other side of the net, but Kageyama is already in the setting position, arms raised high. He has a choice of two attackers, Kindaichi and Touma-san, but all of a sudden Kindaichi is in his vision, quick as a flash and jumping high. He sets it, and it connects with Kindaichi’s palm straight and centre as he slams it down in a broad wipe.

There’s a silence in the gym before someone starts clapping, and Kageyama is shocked despite himself. He’ll never have a spiker as quick or as tenacious as Hinata again, but jesus, that speed was fucking close to it. He smiles, reaching out to fist bump Kindaichi. It’s almost second nature now to him, to congratulate his spikers, and Kindaichi pauses, clearly not used to it from him. He remembers the problems he used to have reciprocating high fives, and hastily he withdraws his hand, not sure what to do with it. They’ve clearly changed, the both of them, but they’ve been orbiting around each other on their own axis, never quite connecting together until now. They’re going to have to learn to become teammates again, and instead of it being intimidating, Kageyama finds himself looking forward to it.

“You’re faster than you used to be.” He says instead, with a sharp grin.

“And you’re nicer.” He retorts, settling back into position.

They lose the game of course, despite their skill the regulars are still regulars for a reason and nothing can beat experience. They lose both sets, but they are well fought matches, with the last game going up to deuces. Kuroo blocks their spikes with unrelenting fervour, and Miya’s serves win a fair few points. Later in the game he also starts trash talking, poking fun at Kageyama’s well behaved behaviour, to which Kageyama responds to with a setter dump. It’s childish, but he can’t help it as he watches Coach Hasumi shake his head with amusement. Oikawa has also moved gradually closer to the court, expression unreadable. It makes him fumble the ball a little, but he makes up for it with the next point.

If he gets onto the team, there will be three setters. He doesn’t want to replace anyone, but he also wants to play, and he’s not sure if he’s good enough to replace Oikawa or Miya. All he knows is that he lives to play volleyball, and he can’t  _ not _ make it onto the team, not when his classmates are all in Chuo, fighting for a place.

They take a break for a while, and then Coach Hasumi beckons them over and switches the teams, and Kageyama realises with a lurch that he’s being asked to play on the same team as Miya. He bites back a complaint instinctively, and takes his wing spiker bib with reluctance. His stomach drops, and Miya slings an arm around his shoulders, not at all comforting.

“Chin up Tobio-kun,” he teases. “It’s not the end of the world, Coach is just trying something out.”

They’re playing against Oikawa this time, and his stomach thrums with nerves. Kindaichi is also on the other side and it’s a distinct disadvantage that they used to be ex teammates, already used to each other’s plays. On top of that, he’s no longer playing setter, and he fidgets, trying not to get too upset. Distantly from the other side of the net, he sees Oikawa pull his eyelid down, sticking out his tongue. 

Yes they have changed through the years, but some things will always remain the same.

The first game is swift and brutal. Kageyama is completely unused to playing wing spiker, and he keeps trying to set by accident. He bumps into Miya by accidentally and bows low, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Miya just waves him off, and pats him on the head. He settles into it though halfway through the game and manages to spike some decent shots but it is already too late and they don’t have time to recover. Oikawa is terrifying as ever, his serves are completely unrecoverable and although Miya is still considered one of the best setters in Japan, Oikawa has reached a whole new level, on par with the best, and Kageyama finds himself paying a little too much attention to the lean lines of his body, watching as his shirt rides up when he serves to expose a tiny peek of where his hip bone joins his stomach. He is thoroughly distracted at first, but regains his balance again and manages to fight back to win the second set.

Spiking Miya’s sets isn’t all too bad, and he quickly adjusts to his rhythm. They regain their concentration and they even manage a quick, despite it not being particularly fast. Being on the receiving end of a toss is an entirely new experience, and he feels like he’s seeing the game in a different way, even more aware of what he’d like to spike and how it feels like to work with the setter. 

On the final set, after a particularly long exhausting rally, Kageyama manages to slam down another point, and Miya pulls him into a fierce hug, jumping down in celebration. He wipes his face with the hem of his shirt, exposing his stomach and a ball comes flying his way, so quickly, so accurately he knows exactly who threw it as he scrambles to get out of the way.

“Oops, sorry Tobio-chan I missed. Your serve.” 

Kageyama glowers at him in response, to which Oikawa just laughs delightedly at.

“You’re a terrible person without Iwaizumi-senpai around.” He says. And that draws a scowl out of him, just like he knew it would.

They lose the final set, after a hard won battle for the last point. Oikawa celebrates graciously by rubbing it in their faces, but surprisingly Kageyama finds he doesn’t mind it all too much. Miya looks extremely sour however, pretending to reach out for a handshake only to withdraw last minute. Oikawa squawks out loud with rage and then they start to wrestle, and Kageyama has to hold back a snort, amused at their childish antics. He’s back on the court again, and despite it all, he finds himself feeling better, elated as Coach Hasumi approaches him to shake his hand again.

“Well done, that was a hard match. You did well to adjust to play another position.”

He blushes and bites his lip, flushing with the praise.

“Thankyou, I actually enjoyed it surprisingly.”

“Don’t worry, I still think you’re better playing as a setter.” Coach Hasumi muses, staring intently in the distance at Oikawa and Miya roughhousing on the floor. He suddenly grins, all teeth, and Kageyama starts to feel slightly nervous.

“I have  _ plans _ for you three.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to update this weekly. :) shorter chapter than usual. In which I try to pretend I know anything about volleyball, Kageyama is thirsty and Miya is not comforting at all.

_ One of the most common volleyball offense rotations is the 5-1 formation. This is preferred by most teams as having one setter on the pitch can dictate the game with clear leadership, and can lead to less communication errors. However, some teams have started to use the 6-2 formation, where there are two setters on the pitch. There are various schools of thought on the benefits of 6-2 versus 5-1, however running this formation allows three front row attackers in all six rotations rather than two if using the 5-1 lineup. _

_ Despite the benefits, it can be very difficult to run a 6-2, as it is absolutely key for your setters to be able to synchronise. Most teams dislike this formation as different setters with different personalities can set differently and use different tempos. A lack of consistency and chemistry can impact the game significantly and coaches need to train this into their team for this to be used effectively. _

_ Source: Volleyball Tokyo Weekly, issue 38. _

…

“I want us to run a 6-2 formation this year.” Coach Hasumi beams, looking at the three of them. He’d called them into a meeting room together, and watches carefully as Oikawa and Miya’s faces fall with dismay.

“Chuo has a lot of Karasuno and Nekoma’s players this year, and from experience Coach Takeda will use their speed against us. We need to shore up our attack and defense.”

Kageyama’s never played this formation before. He knows the advantages, but it means he has to share the court, and is no longer the sole gamemaker. He understands the basics, the setter sets from the back row, and when then when he rotates to the front, the roles switch and he becomes a hitter. It allows the teams to have three attackers at the front, giving the team more choices and more complicated attack patterns. But it requires communication, practice, and for the setters to be utterly in tune with each other.

“Miya and Oikawa simply just have two different styles of setting, but you, Kageyama, you grew up learning how to play by watching Oikawa, and your throws are so accurate you can play to match Miya’s tempos. We’re playing at a level now where we need more options and you’re it.”

He knows what this means. This will mean endless practice sessions just one on one, with both Miya and Oikawa. They’ll have to practice quick attacks, attack combinations and then relearn the way he throws the ball. He’ll have to adjust to his teammates, but then he has the chance of a century. He gets to learn exactly how his senpais handle the ball, get an insight into exactly how their minds work. The learning experience is  _ invaluable _ and despite the awkwardness he might feel working with Oikawa, this is too good an opportunity to pass up.

He looks back up and he feels a chill run down his spine. Oikawa is staring directly at him, an assessing gaze on his features. He recognises that look, the one of unrelenting focus that is all directed at him, the expression of concentration that he has when completely zeroed in on a target.

It’s terrifying, but exhilarating at the same time.

“I’ll do it.” He says, stomach churning with nerves.

They draw up practice plans, Coach Hasumi running them through their plays on the whiteboard. They are on alternating practice days, and Kageyama has an hour before and after normal practice with each setter. Oikawa takes Tuesdays and Fridays because he has to teach classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, and Miya takes Wednesday and Sunday. He is brutally aware of Oikawa’s silence, he hasn’t said a word since entering the room, choosing to focus his attention on the whiteboard. He looks totally disengaged on the outside, but Kageyama realises with a sudden jolt that he’s actually memorising the plays on the board, lips moving slightly.

Abruptly, Oikawa stands, dusting his trousers off, slinging a bag over his shoulder. 

“Okay, I’ve got it Coach, see you at practice Tobio-chan.”

…

Unsurprisingly, practice is difficult.

He has to balance a mix of classes, clubs and socials with his volleyball practice, and Miya sits him down and explains the way he sets, making Kageyama throw the ball to him, demonstrating the various attacks and coordinated offense plays he has with the team. They set completely differently, and when he plays with him, Kageyama realises that his throws are firm, sure and powerful, a little bit on the edge of arrogant. He plays a little like he used to on Kitagawa Daiichi, but matched with a team capable of keeping up with his speed. He’s not well behaved at all, but he plays loose and fast and aggressively and Kageyama understands why Coach Hasumi hadn’t been able to pair Oikawa and Miya up together.

Oikawa on the other hand, is a completely different experience. He starts with the team, going through their favourite positions and their preferred spike patterns, giving him details about their offense and team. 

_ Kuroo is great in his first rotation not just because of his height, but because he’s great at intimidating the other team. Kin-chan is new but Coach is thinking of putting him in as a regular because of the speed he has. Haruka is a great libero, but you need to consider setting around him to give him space for defense. _

He listens with rapt attention, and for once the awkwardness melts away as he just sits there and  _ absorbs. _

And when he starts to play properly, it takes his breath away.

Oikawa used to be a great setter, but now he’s a monster. He dances across the court, feints which look like spikes, throws that look like dumps, changing and shifting stances like water. He says one thing and means another, and it is completely represented in the way he plays, striking unease and uncertainty in his opponents. Kageyama prefers to play directly, honestly, it’s his unrelenting unwavering focus and accuracy that gets him ahead, but he knows he can learn something from Oikawa, as he is  _ just that step ahead. _

He shows him the moves one by one, and to Oikawa’s disgust, he manages to master them all within a few tries. 

“You’re annoying me, Tobio-chan.” He grumbles, bouncing a ball between his hands, the heavy smack of the ball against the floor enunciating his displeasure. “Can’t you be bad at something?”

“Well it’s not my fault.” Kageyama snaps, trying not to feel too upset. It’s not healthy, being back in such close quarters with Oikawa again. He makes him feel like he’s in middle school again, and they’re able to draw out the worst from each other like no one else can. “There’s one stance I can’t quite get right - can you show me that feint again?”

He’s lying, he knows exactly how to feint, it was one of the moves he’d seen Oikawa pull in middle school, but if it will get him out of a fight with Oikawa he’ll do anything. 

He purposely stands wrong, hoping it will be the end of the conversation, but to his surprise Oikawa jumps up, grumbling as he stands behind him and places his hands on  _ either side of his hips _ . He freezes, tenses, and Oikawa shifts his hands and guides him to the correct position. He draws in a quick breath, tensing, and firm hands bring his arms up in smooth arc into a textbook position of a feint, and his hair stands upright as he feels the light breath on the back of his neck.

“Hmm much better,” Oikawa murmurs, sound ghosting across the back of his neck, and Kageyama tries not to think about the last time they were this close, memories of nights together with Oikawa’s hands guiding him firmly and insistently downwards, controlling his every move. He tries not to think about what it would feel like, if Oikawa would just use that toned chest to  _ press _ him down and Kageyama jerks away from him, visibly shaken.

Oikawa frowns, surprised for a second, and then his gaze narrows with understanding, shrewd and assessing.

“Knew you were faking it.” He says, without inflection.

“Got to massage your ego somehow, Oikawa-san.”

Oikawa scowls at that, but to his surprise his expression is suddenly rueful, and the air around them turning awkward.

“I suppose I deserve that. I’m sorry.” He says, and Kageyama doesn’t want to understand what he’s apologising for. “Tobio, I-“

“Oikawa, are you done yet?” 

Startled, the two of them spin around and a girl is standing there, tapping her foot impatiently. She’s pretty, dark eyed, with her black hair cropped short and lips twisted into a sour pout, and Kageyama knows exactly who this is.

“Ayumi-chan, you’re early!” 

“No, you’re late. Again.”

They start bickering, and Kageyama slides away to start packing up his things, feeling awkward and out of place. Without another word, he quickly disappears, not feeling Oikawa’s gaze follow him on the way out.

...

Miya knows something is up the moment they meet.

“What’s wrong, you look like you’ve swallowed a lemon.”

“No I don’t.” He automatically denies it, but he has been in a mood all week, and he thinks he nearly made a girl cry after bumping into her accidentally on the way out from class. He’s easily irritated, temper short, and Miya just about has had enough of his shit. They’re practicing serves together, but he misses the target consistently and Miya hasn’t let him forget it.

“Stop it with the bullshit, what is wrong with you?”

Kageyama avoids his gaze and mumbles something. Miya doesn’t hear and leans in, tapping his ear impatiently and with a sigh Kageyama repeats himself.

“Oikawa-san and I used to go out back in school. We broke up in his final year.”

Miya leans back and looks at him seriously for a second. He doesn't say anything for very long time, and then sighs.

“Well I can’t say I’m surprised. Oikawa does have a certain type.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Kageyama mutters defensively.

“Nothing.” Miya smirks. “He’s had a number of relationships and Ayumi-san is probably the brattiest one yet. It won’t last.”

He feels a little better at that, but then Miya pins him with another look, patting him on the shoulder in what he thinks is a comforting gesture.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here to pick up the pieces when you inevitably get with him again.”

Kageyama hits him. Out of principle.   
  


 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a lot of staring and pining occurs. Sorry about the sparse updates, life has been manic. :(

Despite everything, Kageyama finds himself in a schedule that is too busy to allow himself to wallow. There’s classes (which are surprisingly difficult even if they’re about rocks), volleyball practice four times a week, and socials with the team on their off days. He makes friends with Kindaichi and his friends, visits home every month and tries new hobbies even though he knows he’ll never invest enough time in them. University is supposed to be a time of growth, but sometimes he feels like he is too busy to to think, let alone find time to figure out whatever it is he is supposed to.

He spends most of his time at volleyball practice with Oikawa and Miya of course, but he also has dedicated sessions with Kindaichi, practicing their quick relentlessly, aiming for something godlike but settling instead for  _ awesome _ . He won’t find someone like Hinata again, but it’s taken him a long time to realise it’s not the setter who dictates the attacks, and Kindaichi has just as many tricks up his sleeve. He’s also more intelligent, but that was no surprise.

Hinata scowls when he tells him this, later in the week when they make good on their promise and meet for some coffee. He tries to jump out of his seat in indignation, but he has a sprain from practice, and barely makes it up before he winces and sits down again. He’s a hyperactive ball of energy, and settles for hitting Kageyama half heartedly instead, bouncing in his seat as he slurps his coffee in one go. They catch up about Chuo, Tokai, their training regime, and Kageyama thirsts for the stories he tells about their team and Iwaizumi and their senpais working together.

“This injury sucks.” Hinata moans, when they run out of things to catch up on, head thudding against the table. It’s the third time he’s done it, and the plates clatter, startling the waitress hovering nearby.

“Careful dumbass, you need all the brain cells you’ve got.”

“Screw you Kageyama.” He says, voice muffled by the table. “You okay otherwise?”

There’s a pause, and in his own way he understands exactly what Hinata is asking. They were partners for so long they instinctively understand each other, and they don’t need more than just a few words to figure each other out. It’s actually quite annoying sometimes, but he’s grateful for the sentiment.

“I’m dealing with it.” He says, brows furrowed in thought. “He’s nicer than he used to be, but he’s also pretending we never happened, which is good and bad in a way.”

Hinata nods sagely, whilst eyeing up Kageyama’s untouched cake and with a sigh he pushes it over to him wordlessly.

“You’re not over him are you?” 

As always, Hinata acts and talks like a dumbass, but there are moments when he can see through him so  _ clearly _ , and lacks the tact to ask him less directly. Kageyama just groans, hiding his head between his arms. 

Hinata doesn’t even have the decency to hide his laughter, stealing the rest of his cake.

After coffee, he drags himself to the library to make a start on his assignments after class. He’s never been good at his studies to be honest, and the classes he’s taken are pretty much the ones he’d thought would be the easiest. However, there’s one module which involves statistics and he is completely clueless when it comes to basic maths.

The library is always somewhat disgusting, the tables and chairs having been occupied by students for days on end, food and coffee stains everywhere. The stewards do their best to clean as much as they can and punish the worst offenders, but everyone knows the library is basically a makeout spot, where students get to be as disgusting as they want to be under the pretense of studying.

He finds a spot that looks somewhat clean and sets up camp, taking the first problem set out and circling the questions he needs to research. He buries his head into the prerequisite reading materials, brow furrowed in concentration. It makes no sense to him, and it isn’t something that he can just blag with rote memorisation like he used to do in school. He spends  _ hours _ there, reading, writing, scribbling, and he’s almost ready to tear his hair out in frustration when someone slides into the seat next to him.

“Statistics 101?” Oikawa’s voice filters through to him, quietly amused.

“If you’re here to laugh at me please just go away.” He mumbles, feeling humiliated. He just needs  _ one _ day, one day away from Oikawa and his insufferable presence, but to his surprise his senpai pulls the book towards him and puts his glasses on, reading the problem set in more detail.

“We’re in the same department idiot, I had to go through the same classes in first year. Professor Mika doesn’t like to ask her questions directly which is why you won’t find your answers in any book.”

Kageyama lifts his head up at that, and stares as Oikawa chews on the end of his pencil, tongue flicking out in thought. He starts to write, graphite scratching, setting out the solution to the problem, workings laid neatly beneath and Kageyama’s eyes widen as he starts to understand. It’s crystal clear all of a sudden, and with a start he realises he can instantly apply it to all the other questions.

“Oh my god Oikawa-san,” he breathes gratefully, “ _ thank you _ .”

Oikawa’s eyes widen, and inexplicably he starts to flush.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m a TA after all.” He stands up and straightens, but then his expression turns mean. “Besides, how stupid are you to not get that? You really haven’t gotten better at anything other than volleyball have you?”

Kageyama just sighs, brow creasing in annoyance. Business as usual then.

…

Practice is odd this week. After the library incident he has called truce with Oikawa, resolving to be nicer and more courteous when he bumps into him. So far they’re working well together, despite their history and he settles for an uneasy truce which is slightly better than the animosity before. Kageyama spends his practice on Wednesday with Kindaichi mostly, practicing and practicing their quick combination, until the palms of his hands start to bruise and his shirt sticks unpleasantly to his back. Their uniform is a dark navy blue, and the heat in the gymnasium is humid and wet, the aircon having broken down overnight. Most of the team have stripped down to their undershirts or are completely topless, and Kageyama pulls his shirt off resentfully, hair sticking stubbornly to his sweat drenched face.

“This is ridiculous.” He mutters darkly, and Kindaichi nods fervently in agreement.

“Coach may look nice on the outside but I can’t believe he’s making us do this.” 

As if he had heard him, Coach Hasumi levels an eye at him, not before yelling,

“Come on boys, what if there is no air conditioning at nationals?”

Sighing, Kageyama gets up to his feet and resumes practice again. But before he reaches the court, Miya saunters over, shirt tucked into one of his pockets, and slings a sweaty arm around his neck, eyes gleaming. The heat and the sweat of him sticks to Kageyama’s skin and he pushes him off grimacing.

“Ugh, Miya-san, stop being disgusting.”

Miya just cackles in response, choosing to poke him in the stomach instead, hands brushing across his navel uncomfortably. He doesn’t quite know why, but ever since he had told Miya about Oikawa, he’s been incredibly tactile, poking him and touching him with an increasing frequency. It doesn’t bother him immensely as he doesn’t think he means anything by it (he’s pretty sure Miya has a boyfriend on the swim team) but he exclusively does it only at practice and he wants to call him out on it. It’s  _ weird _ .

“Stop being a baby, are you looking forward to the team social later?”

“I’m not going out to a club with you again.” He snaps back, shuddering at the memory.

“We’re going Haruto’s dorm party, not a club.” And then ruffles his hair affectionately again, thumb resting momentarily on his cheekbone.  _ Weird _ .

They’re interrupted suddenly as Oikawa stalks towards them, expression so terrifying that Kageyama flinches backwards instinctively. Miya on the other hand looks so impossibly smug for some reason and he just doesn’t  _ get _ it when Oikawa hands him a sweat towel whilst glowering at him.

“Here, Coach asked me to bring you these.”

Kageyama takes the towel nervously, and when Miya reaches out Oikawa just slaps the other towel in his face, stalking off immediately without a word.

“That was rude Oikawa- _ san~” _

Oikawa just flips him off.

...

The team make their way to Haruta’s together, after showering quickly in the gymnasium locker rooms. He hates showering with the team usually (because he has to stop himself from staring at Oikawa’s abs with an immense amount of self restraint) but this time he’s just grateful to be out of the humid heat, the cold water sluicing the weariness from his body. Touma and Miya are bickering loudly, flicking their towels at each other like teenagers and Kageyama has to roll his eyes at them as he towels his hair dry.

“You guys are morons.” Haruta says dryly, and the rest of the team concur wholeheartedly. 

Haruta’s dorm is on the west side of the campus, renowned for where the sports teams usually live, once they’ve earned their time on a team. Oikawa and the other third years also live there, but they are further up on the fifth floor. The basketball and rugby teams have already set up by the time they arrive and the common room looks like an absolute mess, tables and chairs pushed to the side to allow space for a few beer pong tables and an absolutely  _ outrageous _ bar which is just a table filled with every single type of alcohol he can think of. Kuroo heads straight to the bar and starts mixing a ridiculous concoction which is clearly three quarters alcohol and shoves it into Kageyama’s hand without a word. 

They make eye contact, and Kageyama sighs and takes a tentative sip. 

Oikawa is messing around with the music, hiking the volume louder and louder as he switches through his playlists. Ayumi is nestled into his side like she belongs there, but she doesn’t look like she’s enjoying herself, expression annoyed as she pulls on his jumper to get his attention. They’re squabbling a little, voices hushed and unintelligible under the music and Kageyama recognises that expression on his senpai’s face, the one where he’s pretending absolutely nothing is wrong. Bitterly, Kageyama tries to ignore them as he keeps on drinking. He’s isn’t vindictive, he doesn’t like to see others unhappy, and he definitely doesn’t dislike Ayumi; from what he’s seen at practice she’s opinionated, stands up for herself and calls Oikawa out on his shit, but he doesn’t want to see them around each other, hates the fact that it still hurts to see them together.

The rest of the team are congregating near the beer pong tables and Kageyama wanders over, feeling out of place and uncomfortable. Kindaichi grabs him immediately, ushering him onto his side of the table, and with a start he realises they’re playing against Haruta and Touma, both grinning identical shit eating grins. Touma he can understand, but it’s the first time he’s seen mild mannered Haruta look so competitive before.

“Just pretend you’re setting.” Kindaichi whispers conspiratorially and before he knows the game has even begun, an all out war starts.

The first couple of shots fail miserably, but he quickly gets the hang of it, the lighter ball a challenge. Kindaichi manages to bounce a ball in, but Touma responds with a perfect shot and then it’s Kageyama’s turn. He’s aware of the team cheering him on, but they are on the edge of his vision, sound a blur as he focuses his gaze on the cup. He throws it, and the soft clunk and sloshing of liquid signals his success.

“Tch.” Touma makes a face. “Lucky shot.”

Feeling emboldened, Kageyama smirks and just flashes a peace sign, fully intended to piss him off. It has the desired effect and quickly the game escalates, and every single one of his shots make it into a cup first time. There’s a flush to everyone’s cheeks by the end of the night, and he finds himself enjoying it immensely. When Oikawa joins their table looking annoyed and rubbing the back of his neck, he doesn’t even falter and makes another throw. Ayumi is nowhere to be seen, and Oikawa just snatches the ball from midair and flicks it over in a smooth, practiced move.

The ball lands into his cup, perfectly.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself Kageyama.” He teases smugly, but his tone is not unkind. Touma throws his hands up, exasperated, muttering something about  _ setters _ , but the team start to cheer, drawing a larger crowd of other sports teams as they start to pressure him to drink.

Sighing, he downs his beer, adam's apple bobbing as he tilts his head back to gulp down the foamy liquid. He’s already slightly tipsy, and despite his reservations about drinking this much on a school night, it barely takes him any time at all, slamming the empty cup down onto the table when he is done to the delighted cheers of his team.

And after that he barely remembers a thing.

...

Oikawa tries not to curse too much as Miya dumps a comatose Kageyama into his arms, waving an unhelpful goodbye. His eyes are crinkled up and  Oikawa currently hates him more than anything in the world.

“It’s either this or he stays at mine.” He says.

He tries to stop it, he really does, but he instinctively jerks Kageyama closer to him, eyeing Miya up distrustfully. He doesn’t trust the other setter as far as he can throw him, and he’s noticed the way he touches Kageyama at practice, constantly invading his personal space. He’s spent the last few practices biting the head off anyone who approaches him and a lot of it has to do with Miya. All of it in fact. 

On the other hand Kageyama just nuzzles sleepily into the side of his neck, breathing soft and shallow as he grasps for purchase. Oikawa shivers and rubs his neck immediately, trying not to look so put out as he knows Miya is enjoying this way too much.

Kageyama has grown up a lot. In some ways he’s still the same brat, but there’s a maturity about him that is hard to place, and a self assuredness that definitely hadn’t been there when they had been going out. Physically he’s taller and leaner, but somewhere between secondary school and university Kageyama has developed a slight jawline and abs which Oikawa has to constantly remind himself to stop staring at in practice. Their shared history doesn’t help things, and it certainly doesn’t help that he feels guilty about the callous way he’d ended things all those years ago. He knows himself, and ultimately when it comes to his goals he always prioritises himself, and everything close to him pays the price.

But in some ways, he has never forgotten that cafe and he has never quite forgotten  _ Kageyama _ . He’s searched in the last few years for ways to try to be  _ better _ , but Iwaizumi still jokes that he thinks it’s a lost cause.

Kageyama suddenly pitches forward, incoherent and groaning, and he barely even attempts to call a taxi. He has no idea where Kageyama lives, despite being able to find out very easily, but he ignores that train of thought and settles with dragging him to his dorm. It’s the easiest solution, he rationalises, ignoring the quiet voice of sense that tells him Ayumi isn’t going to like this  _ one _ bit when she finds out. She knows their history very well and after their fight today she isn’t going to forgive him. And despite that, Oikawa can’t bring himself to care.

He dumps him on his bed, amused as Kageyama moans, brows crinkling in discomfort, scratching his stomach blearily, and then swallows as his shirt rides up, his legs askew and parted. There’s a moment and Oikawa just allows himself to stare, feeling like a bonafide creep as he drinks in the sight. He hasn’t been really able to speak to Kageyama one on one for so long now, despite his furtive efforts to make peace. They train together, yes, but there’s always something guarded, something slightly injured about the way Kageyama behaves around him and it’s so refreshing to see him without his defences up.

And sad as well, because he know he doesn’t have the right anymore. 

He bends over and pulls Kageyama’s trainers and socks off, and tucks him under the covers in the process. Curling up on top of the covers, he closes his eyes with a sigh, falling asleep with regrets on his mind.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

Kageyama wakes up to sunlight filtering through his curtains and his brow furrows, groaning slightly. He doesn’t know how he got home last night, but he’s usually good at closing the blinds and changing his clothes no matter how drunk he is and he can feel his jeans and belt buckle digging into him uncomfortably. He must have drunk a lot last night, and he keeps his eyes closed, willing himself to fall asleep again. The room is quiet, peaceful despite the pounding in his head, and he relishes the feel of cool sheets against his skin. Suddenly, alarmingly, he realises with a shock he’s not in his bed as someone rolls over and smacks his arm into him. 

He freezes.

Almost too afraid to open his eyes, he creaks one eye open and his stomach sinks to the floor. Oikawa has his head back on the pillow beside him, mouth open, a sliver of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth.

“What the  _ fuck _ .” He yells, voice nearly a scream and scoots so far away from him he nearly falls of the bed, pulling at the covers in a mad scramble to regain his balance.

Oikawa shoots upright, eyes wide and panicked as he blearily looks around to see what’s going on. There’s a moment between them, Oikawa digesting his surroundings, looking over at Kageyama’s panicked gaze, seeing how he’s clutching the covers to his chin, and his brow furrows, lips twisting into a pout.

“That’s no way to thank me now is it?”

“W-what did we…”

“Get your mind out of the gutter Tobio-chan, I just let you stay over since you clearly can’t hold your liquor.” He says, sitting up and stretching up in a yawn. He looks perfectly at home here, gaze flickering disinterestedly at the time and grimacing when it reads later than it should do.

Kageyama bites his lip and scowls. His hair is mussed and he feels disgusting, and Oikawa is looking at him patronisingly, devastatingly attractive even with morning breath and drool drying on his face. His gaze flickers up and down, and realises suddenly that Oikawa is only wearing a thin tank top, grey and threadbare from multiple washes, hiding nothing at all. Oikawa catches his gaze, and he can’t help it, he leans in and moves into Kageyama’s space, voice deepening into a rumble.

“Though maybe you’re a bit disappointed with that huh?”

Kageyama swallows, eyes transfixed on the way Oikawa wets his lips, and leans closer, unconsciously letting the covers drop down. They’re so close, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest and he can’t help it, his shifts his legs wider to accommodate the hard on he’s beginning to sport. He could do many things right now, he can run, he can push him away, tell him that joking around like this isn’t funny, but months of training with Oikawa one to one and he’s finally  _ this  _ close. He isn’t strong enough. He really isn’t.

It doesn’t take much for him to close the gap, and he presses into Oikawa, surprises him and meets him in a kiss. Oikawa tenses beneath him, and for one mortifying moment he thinks he’s going to pull away and then Oikawa grabs onto him like a lifeline, curling on hand to cup the side of his face and the other wrapping around the small of his back, pressing him close until they are flush against each other. Kageyama sighs, mouth wet and open, and somehow they land on top of each other, and Oikawa brackets his body and presses his mouth even closer to deepen the kiss.

He keens into it, desperate to just  _ connect _ , and he remembers the way they used to do this, lazy make out sessions in their bed and wandering hands that meandered their way underneath their clothes. He doesn’t know what is going on, knows that he probably shouldn’t be doing this but he can’t help it, muscle memory winning as he curls his hands into Oikawa’s hair, relishing it when he grunts softly.

Feeling more daring than usual, he pulls away from the kiss and watches as Oikawa’s gaze flickers back to him in confusion, panting softly and out of breath. But soon his eyes widen with abrupt understanding as Kageyama sinks to his knees, pulling him out from his boxers with nimble hands, and pauses, looking back up at Oikawa for one nervous second. His lips are open, a hair's breadth away from his cock, and Oikawa trembles.

“ _ S-shit _ .” He exhales shakily. “Fucking  _ hell _ Tobio-chan, just do it.”

It’s all the affirmation he needs.

He hasn’t done this in a while, but tentatively, he laps at the head, swirling his tongue experimentally and is gratified when he hears a low moan break out above him. He’s fully hard and shaking, hands suddenly clumsy as he remembers the taste and the shape of Oikawa with his tongue. He’d never thought he’d ever be in this position ever again, and it is just so  _ easy  _ to fall back into things again like they had never been apart in the first place.

He looks up, mouth full, and Oikawa brings a hand up to stroke his cheekbone, hands convulsing as Kageyama takes him deeper. There’s something powerful about this, something deeply intimate and he presses closer, widening his throat and breathing through his nose as he slides his mouth further down. Oikawa stares at him from beneath his fringe, eyes dark and mouth open in a wordless gasp and Kageyama maintains eye contact, not wanting to look away.

“Fuck,” he gasps above him, and then laughs shakily. “I take it back, you’re not just better at volleyball.”

Kageyama just narrows his eyes balefully, mouth full and too occupied to dignify that with a response.

All of a sudden, they are interrupted by a sharp knocking on the door, and Ayumi’s voice filters through the door, muffled but furious.

“Where the fuck are you Oikawa, you better not be still sleeping when we were supposed to meet half an hour ago!”

They freeze, and Oikawa scrambles up, wrenching away from Kageyama like he was burned, pulling out of his mouth abruptly, a rough slide which causes a coughing fit. His zipper catches Kageyama accidentally on his face and distantly he knows it will leave a scratch, but he’s beyond caring. He’s panting, cheeks flushed and hopelessly aroused, eyes watering as Oikawa shoves him into a wardrobe and hisses,

“Get  _ out _ .”

The door is slammed in his face, and Kageyama sits there uncomprehending as he hears Oikawa yell something back at Ayumi, muffled and unclear. It’s completely fake and his tone is full of bullshit, but there’s some slamming of doors and some choice words before the apartment falls into silence again.

Kageyama clutches his knees, curling into a little ball. He closes his eyes, and lets a quiet, shaky breath escape him.

…

He doesn’t know how long he stayed in that little wardrobe, cocooned in the dark and surrounded by Oikawa’s clothes, but eventually stirs and gets up. He feels numb, but there’s the distant pounding of anger that is dulled by hurt. He looks around the apartment, feels like he should trash it, act out every violent fantasy he’s had, pay him back for all the hurt he’s caused him, but scanning the room he feels listless, tired and bone weary.

It’s over. He’s never going to get over this asshole, but it’s over. He needs to stop clinging onto this vague hope of a reconciliation, and he needs to accept that Oikawa chose his volleyball, Ayumi over him. He means nothing to him, and he needs to let it go.

He’d been so sure, so sure they could remain friends, and now, he doesn’t want that at all.

...

Miya’s eyes zero onto him the moment he shows up for practice.

“Where the fuck have you been?” He asks. “Coach has been worried sick.”

“Sorry.” He mumbles, bowing his head slightly. He has skipped the last week of practice, claiming illness when he had just spent the whole week in bed, trying to forget everything. Oikawa had been trying to get into contact with him, stalking his class schedule and spamming his phone, but he keeps his head down and his gaze averted, eventually giving up and just staying in his apartment. 

His fringe covers his face, and all of a sudden Miya is reaching into his personal space cupping his chin and tilting it back so he can examine the scratch. It’s caught on his lip, making it red and puffy, and Kageyama flinches back at the look he gets.

“How did this happen.” He asks, tone deceptively light and gentle.

Kageyama looks through him, purposely not looking at Oikawa, who has suddenly started fiddling with his shoelaces.

“I fell.” He says, toneless and his voice is so dead, so absent of any inflection that Miya’s gaze snaps back at him, eyes widening and before he even knows what’s happening Miya is stalking over to Oikawa, slamming him against the lockers.

It’s an all out brawl from then.

...

Coach Hasumi is furious. He’s never seen the kindly man so angry, and Miya and Oikawa are banned from playing for an entire  _ term _ , and Kageyama just wants to curl up and die. The wider team think he’s done something just so he can be the only setter, and to his surprise Kindaichi had stepped to his defence, along with all the other regulars. There’s always jealousy that comes with success, but the team dynamic is shot to hell, and it isn’t pretty. They bomb the first practice match with Chuo, completely coming apart at the seams and Hinata looks at him in concern as they leave the pitch.

His passes are off, and there’s something so deeply wrong with him when he cannot even find joy in volleyball anymore, not when he is reminded of him in every pass, every throw, every serve that he has so meticulously copied for so long. His mind wanders whilst he is on the court, unable to find his focus and after another disastrous match on Wednesday evening, he gets benched, and Tokai is left with their B team reserve for the first time in years. He doesn’t feel anything but pain, and barely reacts when Coach Hasumi asks him to see him in his office after the match.

He spends his time lingering in the gym, looking for an excuse to delay the inevitable. He helps the reserves put away the balls, dismantles the nets and then grabs a mop from someone, sweeping the floors with absent strokes. He watches as the floor turns dark with moisture, drying slowly and clearing when the water evaporates. He passes the mop over that patch again, and watches as the linoleum darkens. 

He thinks about Oikawa every day. It isn’t something he can consciously control. He’s spent a long time denying his feelings, but the sudden proximity to his ex boyfriend has bought everything bubbling to the surface again. He doesn’t have anyone but himself to blame. He chose to make the first move, he chose to take it further than it should have ever gone. Despite how messy their first breakup had been, it seems to hurt even more this time round, the feeling of rejection more humiliating as he had stepped right into this with welcome arms.

When everything is cleared away and he is left alone, he finally makes his way to Coach Hasumi’s office, stomach sinking lower with every step. He knocks on the door and he is let in, feeling nervous as the man’s eagle-eyed stare pins him down. He hasn’t really thought through what he wants to say so he panics and bows down as low as he can, his forehead nearly touching his knees.

“Please let Miya-san and Oikawa-san play again. This is all my fault.”

He’s nervous, trembling, and he’s startled when Coach Hasumi walks closer and places a comforting hand on his shoulder, pulling him gently to stand up.

“And why would it be your fault?”

The words stick in his throat. There’s really no good way to tell your sixty year old coach that his three setters had gotten into a brawl over one of them giving a blowjob to his ex boyfriend and they had thrown away their chance for a championship over  _ that _ .

“Oikawa and Miya had a disagreement. Over me.” He manages to say, and the sharp look he gets tells him that he hasn’t bullshitted anyone.

“I had hoped your presence on the team would make them work better together.” He sighs, sounding weary. 

“Please Coach. I-I’ll even step aside, so it can go back to what it was like before.” It hurts him to say it, he doesn’t want to but he can’t stand the thought of this team being decimated by him. If only he hadn’t chosen Tokai, if only he’d never set foot on-

“You really are a kind boy, Kageyama-kun.” Hasumi looks at him, smiling gently. “There’s no need for that. I’ll reinstate both Miya and Oikawa on your word that nothing like this will ever happen again.”

“Thankyou.” He breathes out a sigh of relief.

“But first, you need to give me your word that you’ll talk to Oikawa-kun.”

_ Fuck _ no.

tbc

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not too pleased with the pacing of this chapter but I figured it was time for some drama. Feedback welcome!


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